In this interview I share my journey to becoming a holistic doula and parent coach with I AM IBU. How my work empowers and educates women through motherhood from pre-conception through pregnancy and postpartum into parenthood.

Shot at our home in Byron Bay, we talk about how my two sons came into the world and I offer guidance for women about to experience their own sacred passage into motherhood. 

“When it comes to birth it’s very normal to have fears around the unknown - these are fears that are a normal part of the process. They are part of any rite of passage and big life transformation. But a lot of our other fears are stemming from things we have seen, heard or read that can be highly subjective, inaccurate or outdated. A doula can help you sort through the overload of information out there and provide personalised support so you can really reach your full birth potential. Like this, you can channel your energy into something productive and creative - such as coming up with your birth plan as well as a realistic postpartum plan. You need to take full responsibility for your experience. This is the first step towards embracing your role as a parent.”

Read the full interview here.

Doula Nathalie Solis Pérez lives in a charming sun-filled converted schoolhouse near Byron Bay with her artist partner and two children. A mother of two boys – Dei and Pablo – Nathalie grew up all over the world. She was born in Germany before moving to Guatemala, and later Spain. When she was older, she moved to the US before settling in Australia, where she now lives in the Byron Bay hinterland with her family.

With a background in cultural anthropology, Nathalie began her journey to become a doula after the birth of her first son. “To this day I feel so grateful to my midwives for creating the safe space for me to do the work I needed to do,” she says. And if she could change one thing about the Australian maternity care model, it would be for all women to have a primary midwife who cares for them during pregnancy, birth and postpartum.

“Being able to establish a relationship with your care provider is so important, and research has shown that midwifery-led continuity of care is the safest type of care for most mothers and babies. Women who receive this need less interventions at birth, less pain relief and are more satisfied with their birth experience. It’s frustrating, exhausting and carries more risk if women receive so-called fragmented care and see different clinicians at each prenatal visit and don’t know who will care for them during labour. We are not meant to give birth surrounded by strangers, but instead with a team of respectful, caring, nurturing and supportive people which we have built a relationship with.”

Versify visits her at home, gets all dressed up in some of our favourite looks, and chats all things motherhood.

What drew you to become a doula ? For someone who doesn’t know, can you describe what a doula does and what makes your role so important ?

I’ve always had a deep interest in women’s health, rituals, healing, and spirituality which led me to get a Masters in Cultural Anthropology with a focus on gender studies, cosmology and traditional medicine amongst indigenous people in Latin America.
When I became interested to work in the birth field it felt like an organic continuation of my previous work. Being a doula doesn’t even feel like work to me - I just love it so much and never tire of supporting and empowering parents as they embark on this journey into the unknown. When I started out as a birth professional I had a strong desire to learn everything I could from the best in this field which led me to train with Michel Odent, Liliana Lammers, Spinning Babies, She Births and many more.

In my work I ensure parents have the most optimal experience possible during pregnancy, birth and the postpartum period. How we bring babies into this world is not only important on a personal level but has implications for humanity at large. As a doula I work with parents to ensure they have a positive and satisfying birth experience. I am their emotional, informational and practical support from the moment they find out they are pregnant until their baby is a few months old. I meet with parents prenatally to talk about how to best prepare for birth, providing antenatal education, discussing birth preferences as well as doing postpartum planning. I provide hands-on support throughout labour and birth and visit the family at home after birth to ensure mum is recovering well and to help parents feel confident in caring for their newborn.
As a doula I work in harmony with both natural and medically assisted births and offer non-judgmental, evidence-based education and continuous support to ensure parents feel heard, respected and cared for. We were never meant to go through this stage of life without support!

Read the full interview here.

“Culture influences birth on so many levels, through beliefs we hold about our bodies, our sexuality and our innate power,” says doula Nathalie Solis Pérez. She also looks at how the language we use to talk about birth affects how we perceive and experience it – and how, with the right language, our experience can be completely transformed. For example, take the word ‘delivery’. “It’s surprising that this term is still in use as it suggests that women are not active birth-givers but someone else ‘delivers’ their baby. Babies are not delivered - mothers give birth to them!” she says...

A mother of two boys – Dei, who was 10 weeks old at the time of this photoshoot and Pablo, 6 years – Nathalie grew up all over the world. She was born in Germany before moving to Guatemala, and later Spain. When she was older, she moved to the US before settling in Australia, where she now lives in the Byron Bay hinterland with her family.

With a background in cultural anthropology, Nathalie began her journey to become a doula after the birth of her first son. “To this day I feel so grateful to my midwives for creating the safe space for me to do the work I needed to do,” she says. And if she could change one thing about the Australian maternity care model, it would be for all women to have a primary midwife who cares for them during pregnancy, birth and postpartum. “Being able to establish a relationship with your care provider is so important, and research has shown that midwifery-led continuity of care is the safest type of care for most mothers and babies. Women who receive this need less interventions at birth, less pain relief and are more satisfied with their birth experience. It’s frustrating, exhausting and carries more risk if women receive so-called fragmented care and see different clinicians at each prenatal visit and don’t know who will care for them during labour. We are not meant to give birth surrounded by strangers, but instead with a team of respectful, caring, nurturing and supportive people which we have built a relationship with.”

Here, we get a deeper inside into her world, background and insights on birth.

Read the full interview here.

I sat down with the beautiful ladies at Space To Flow to chat about all things doula, birth and motherhood.

Check out the interview here or read on below.

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We sit down with Nathalie Solis, Mother and Doula based in the Northern Rivers of New South Wales. What attracted us to Nathalie is her beautiful practice and philosophy of care for women as they move through pregnancy and beyond. Here she shares insight into her work, balancing her own self-care and provides invaluable wisdom for Mothers, Mothers to be and their families.

1. Tell us a bit about yourself ~ when did you become a doula and what drew you to this area of supporting women through pregnancy, birth and the postpartum period?

As a Cultural Anthropologist I used to research and write about women's health and birth practices, rites of passage, as well as gender politics so diving deeper into the birth practices of my own culture felt like a natural extension of this.

I became a certified doula shortly after I gave birth to my son in 2013. The moment I became a mother was so transformational for me on such a deep level that I simply couldn’t go back to the work I was doing before. I had to get to the core of why some women have positive birth experiences and others don’t. I wanted to gather the most crucial knowledge in this field and have it all in one place and that has pretty much become my work now. Training with birth pioneers such as Dr Michel Odent and his colleague doula Liliana Lammers as well as other leading experts in childbirth education and optimal fetal positioning was vital to my own formation as a birth professional.

I am driven by a passion to provide evidence-based information and education but also offer much needed emotional and practical support to mothers and their partners throughout this very special time in their life.

2. What is a doula? What services do you offer? 

The official definition describes a doula as “a birth professional who provides emotional, practical and informational support to birthing mothers and their partners during pregnancy, labour and the postpartum period.” I often simply say: “Just think of me as your professional best friend. Your birth bestie.”

I am not a medical professional, I don’t take blood pressure, palpate baby’s position or do vaginal exams — I am there to hear you, support you and educate you about your options. As a doula I see myself as a consultant who is always next to the mother and her partner — together with the partner we form a triangle of support. I provide information about procedures, options, choices and alternatives but I never make any decisions on behalf of the parents. It’s not my birth and not my baby. Only the parents know what is best for them and their child. I love this about my job. I empower parents to speak up for themselves, ask for what they need and come out of this experience thinking: “We did this!”

As a doula I listen. I accept. I validate. I do not prescribe, judge or direct. I offer gentle guidance, provide evidence-based information, offer empathy and an open ear and heart. This is how I like to describe what I do. I provide so much more than just in-labour support. I usually see my families 3-4 times before the birth and spend many hours with them afterwards too. I come into their lives at a very intimate moment in time where they feel vulnerable and powerful at the same time. As a doula I am really an empty vessel and just become whatever that particular mother and partner need the most in that particular moment. That’s why I love being a doula and don’t want to be a midwife — our roles are very different and that’s a good thing! 

3. What do you believe are the most important factors in preparing for an empowering birth and the transition into motherhood?

Great question! I think being open to the possibility that birth can be pleasurable and is even supposed to be ecstatic. Which is exactly what happens in labour: you’re outside (“ex-“) your usual state (“stasis”). When I start working with couples there is often a lot of undoing that needs to happen so we can move beyond the fears, misinformation and negative beliefs and get to a place of trust, faith and true understanding of the simplicity, and complexity, as well as the power of birth. Once we’re there that’s when ‘the fun can begin’ and we can work towards what the birthing mother most desires and wishes for. Making sure that she has a medical care-provider who matches her preferences is an important part of this process.

Generally speaking I make sure that mum is in the best shape she possibly can be (physically, emotionally, mentally), ensure that we assist her baby to be in an optimal position for labour and birth (ie. head down is not enough!). Only if all of these boxes are ticked can we even begin to think about birth potential and our ecstatic blueprint for birth. If your baby is not in an optimal position once you go into labour all the affirmations and visualisations in the world will not help you because there is something paramount that needs to be addressed first.

So that’s what you have me for — when we work together you can be 100% sure that you’ve done everything you possibly can do reach your maximum birthing potential. This doesn’t mean you will have an orgasmic water birth at home, it means that you and your particular baby will reach your optimal birth potential within what is available to you both at the time.

Research shows that it’s not the outcome of the birth that defines a woman’s birth satisfaction or whether she felt it was an empowering experience but how she was treated and supported throughout the process.

Regarding the transition to motherhood: the birth of a mother is often much longer (and more challenging) than the actual birth itself. That’s why the most important thing after birth is: support, support, support. Calling in your village and mama community. Knowing that it’s ok and normal to ask for help. Having resources at hand when things don’t go to plan (I am yet to see a birth AND postpartum period going to plan!) The nature of any major life transitions means that there will be an unexpected hiccup/challenge in there somewhere for you so it’s important to feel supported and not think that you should be able to get through this all on your own. Mothers throughout the times have always been supported by other mothers. We are not meant to go through this transition alone.

4. How do you prepare partners to support mothers during the birthing process?

The birth space is a very special and sacred space that no one should enter without prior preparation and knowledge — this of course applies to partners as well. Sending them into the birth room without thorough preparation and then expecting them to be the mum’s primary source of emotional/practical support is very unrealistic and also unfair for the birth partner.

As all mums know it’s important that your partner understands the birth process so he knows how to best support you at any stage of labour. Talking about the hormones of birth is paramount. For the partner to understand why it’s so important to keep the lights dim, strangers out of the birth room (if possible), reduce the use of language/questions/neocortical stimulation and know that all that is required of him/her is to be lovingly present, to acknowledge and encourage. In our prenatal sessions I show partners hands-on techniques for physical and emotional support as well as different comfort measures.

No matter where you plan to give birth you will be spending lots of time at home in labour so partners need to know exactly how they can help and feel useful. And then after the birth they will become sort of like a postpartum “manager” which is an even more important role. So I always try to make it as simple, effective and comprehensive as possible for partners so they know what’s really critical and expected of them. And how they can make sure the birthing mother will remember this stage of her life as something beautiful, something that brought them closer together as a couple.

5. What are some of your key tips for the fourth trimester / first 12 weeks or so after giving birth?

Once you’re finished with your birth plan make sure you also have a postpartum plan. The first forty days after birth are a critical period for the mother and child and it really pays off investing some time and thought into preparing for this stage.

Many women like to have a blessingway (instead of a baby shower) before their birth and instead of asking for gifts they ask their closest friends to sign up to a Meal Train so that both parents will be freed from the chores of shopping, prepping, cooking in the first few weeks with a newborn. In my experience, this is one of the most helpful gifts for most newborn families. One of my dear friends organised a Meal Train for me many years ago and it was a lifesaver because even the most dedicated, motivated and supportive partner will get tired of preparing three healthy meals every day for six weeks on end. I see this all the time. That’s why traditionally we had other women move in with us (or we move in with them) so they could do the housework, look after older children, shop, prep, cook, clean and take care of the never-ending piles of laundry. It’s almost a full-time job but many partners don’t know this until they actually have to do it.

Simplify your life as much as you can during the first few months. If people offer help, say yes! Know that it’s normal to go slow at first. This is exactly what your body and baby need. Only have one outing a day in the first year (if you can!).

Read the ‘Postnatal Depletion Cure’ by Dr Oscar Serrallach to educate yourself about the importance of your postnatal physical, emotional and mental wellbeing.

Read ‘The First Forty Days’ by Heng Ou to get your head around why the first forty days after birth might affect the next 40 years of your life!

Know that you and your partner are most likely doing the job of an entire village. All parents are super-humans! Living in nuclear families far away from our immediate and extended family is not ideal so we need to create our own village — as this is what it takes to raise a child.

6. Do you see many women with postnatal depletion? And what do you think can be done to prevent this?

In my practice it’s all about prevention and optimising health before the birth so it doesn’t come to this. But yes I see it all around me, it has almost become normal to be constantly exhausted, depleted, fatigued, stressed and on the verge of anxiety when really it shouldn’t be. Yes it’s normal for parenting to feel hard at times and to be exhausting but the weight and pressure I see parents carry these days is heart breaking. Parents deserve SO much more help, support and acknowledgment for their immense efforts - they are raising our future society!

So back to your question: I think Dr Oscar Serrallach brilliantly outlines a prevention and treatment plan for Postnatal Depletion so I won’t dive into any details here. The bottom line is: as we are having babies much older these days (after decades of potentially burning ourselves out already in our careers) it’s a lot to ask of your body to create a perfectly healthy human being, give birth to it naturally, breastfeed for months or years on end (all with minimal support) and not feel depleted. Ideally as soon as a couple thinks about growing their family they would get onto their health and make sure they’re in a state of optimal physical, emotional and mental health and have enough support around them to make this stage of life as joyous and smooth as possible.

7. What are your top nutritional tips for pregnant and breastfeeding mothers?

For pregnant mums: eating local, organic and whole foods. Avoid processed foods, or anything with an ingredient list on it, as much as possible. Once you’ve made it past any first trimester nausea be mindful of your sugar, refined carb, wheat and gluten consumption as this has a significant effect on the size of your baby, can indirectly contribute to certain health conditions, think Gestational Diabetes and GBS (which is usually kept in check by a healthy gut flora). It can also contribute to water retention in the vaginal / cervical area, as well as increase possible inflammation in the pelvic space which in turn can create more pain in labour, slower dilation and a longer, more difficult pushing stage. Obstetrician Dr Gowri Motha (UK) has published a very comprehensive protocol on this topic (‘The Gentle Birth Method’) and most mums who follow it rigorously have significantly shorter and easier labours.

For breastfeeding mums: After birth try to mainly eat warming and life giving foods (nothing raw or cold). Ayurveda and TCM tells us that a mother who has just given birth is ‘cold’ and depleted (due to the loss of blood and life-force) so make sure that in the first few weeks you eat warming broths, soups, stews, things that are easily digested. In the months and years after: let food be thy medicine as now you’re nourishing not only yourself but also your baby. Make sure you replenish iron and micronutrients. Iron deficiency anaemia makes it so much harder to cope with sleep deprivation and can also contribute to postnatal depression in women at risk. Always make sure you have healthy snacks and a large jug of water / tea on your bedside table because breastfeeding requires at least an extra 500 calories a day! The best and most healing food after birth (and my favourite) would be bone broth. Making yourself a superfood smoothie can also be a great way of giving yourself those 10 minutes of self-care every day and doing something to nourish yourself on a regular basis.

8. What are some ways friends and family can support a new mother?

With a Meal Train for example. Or simply by asking the newborn mother what she needs and when and how exactly she would like it to be done. For many of us it’s so hard to ask for help so know that when she asks she really needs it. Be lovingly present and non-judgmental. A mother always knows best! Don’t offer advice unless asked. Simply ask: “What do you need right now? What would be most helpful for you right now?” and then do it — simple!

9. What does self care mean to you?

Self care to me means looking after myself in the same way I look after my children/family/partner/friends. Knowing that every minute I spend meditating, nourishing myself, exercising, treating myself does not only benefit me but also my family. Only if I look after myself can I be 100% present for my clients, and be the best version of myself. I like to remind myself that my cup needs to be full before I can truly give. Self care to me also contains an element of celebrating these miraculous bodies of ours and honouring them for the hard work they do every. single. day. making and sustaining all these babies :-)

10. What is your favourite (simple) mid week meal? And can we share the recipe?

Oh I have so many! Right now I am in the midst of morning sickness so my choice would probably be bland potatoes or toast with cheese! But when I am my usual self I love cooking any of Teresa Cutter’s (aka The Healthy Chef) recipes (her cakes are divine!). Before my morning sickness I also obsessed over Ottolenghi’s SIMPLE cookbook — it’s the best! I like when what I cook is made from whole foods, has no more than five ingredients and is done in 20 minutes but still tastes amazing. I will share this recipe with you: Kale, Spinach & Feta Pie (because it contains lots of iron which most of us mums need). I also love Pete Evan’s super simple Tom Kha coconut soup and his amazing Pizza base recipe made with almond meal and topped with whatever you like… as I said it’s too hard to just choose one!

11. If you had one piece of advice for (new) mothers, what would it be?

Be proud of yourself, you’re doing amazing. Your body is an absolute miracle. Love yourself so your children will learn how important this is before you can truly love others. Know that whatever you’re going through right now, you’re most likely not alone — we’re all in this together. When in doubt — reach out.

Who needs a doula?

Any birthing mother who would like acceptance and support throughout her pregnancy, birth and postpartum.

One of my teachers Dr Michel Odent (world leading obstetrician and founder of the Primal Health Research Centre) summed it up this way:

In the time surrounding birth, women need to feel secure. They need the sort of protection that is provided by the presence of a mother. But for many reasons special to our time, many women cannot rely on their own mother and the father of the baby cannot also be a mother figure. That is why they need a doula.

Doulas have been shown to lower interventions during birth dramatically (Epidural rates by 60%, Cesareans by 50%, length of labour by 25%, Pitocin usage by 40%). As a doula I solely focus on the birthing couple to ensure their emotional and physical wellbeing. Through working with me we ensure that this very special time in your life receives the attention and loving preparation it deserves and that your partner can be the best possible help for you throughout this journey. As a doula I also ensure that the birthing mother is in her most optimal physical/ emotional/ mental state as she meets her baby.

With a doula you’re receiving personalised support meaning you only receive what is most helpful and useful for you and your partner. That is why you get a lot more out of working with me for example than you would if you’d only attend an antenatal class. This is a great start but personalised care can take you so much further. Someone who knows you well can simply provide better care.

I look after mums in the most vulnerable moment of their life while simultaneously celebrating their strength and birthing power.

What are your questions about working with a doula? Please get in touch, I’d love to hear from you!

Love,

Nat

Image: Kayla Rocca Photography

Here are some common reasons for a Cesarean:

⁃ 34% of Cesareans are performed due to ‘labour dystocia’ (= lack of progress/ descent/ dilation or difficult labour)*. These are common scenarios: Baby is floating high above the pelvic inlet and not engaging in spite of regular contractions. Or baby might descend into pelvis but labour stalls once baby has reached a certain level (such as midpelvis or pelvic outlet) due to poor flexion of the head or malposition for example. A labouring mother might even fully dilate but if baby is not coming down into or through the pelvis a Cesarean becomes necessary.

There is no magic formula for all women but most women will save themselves many hours/ days in labour (and much pain!) by receiving personalised chiropractic care in pregnancy and learning exercises and techniques to encourage optimal fetal positioning (Spinning Babies®) in pregnancy so that there is a higher chance that baby engages well in labour. (If you’ve had any accidents or trauma around the pelvic region/ lower back/ pelvic floor this is especially important for you to know.)

Dietary and lifestyle choices also play a big role in avoiding labour dystocia as well as choosing a care provider who offers evidence-based and women-centred care. Care that is continuous, for example by an experienced midwife who is able to get to know you well during your antenatals and be there for you throughout your entire pregnancy, birth and postpartum journey (because we’re not meant to give birth with strangers!). Look for a midwife who is interested in facilitating physiological birth to ensure your care will be mother and baby-centred allowing for a gentle transition into motherhood. This is very different from having a care provider who solely focuses on ‘minimising risks’. Such an approach is largely based on fear (Adrenalin/ stress/ fear inhibit normal labour and birth!).

⁃ ‘Non-reassuring fetal heart tones’ is the second most common reason (23%) for first-time Cesareans*. “Cochrane researchers combined the results of 12 randomized, controlled trials with more than 37,000 participants. Mothers were randomly assigned to receive either continuous EFM or hands-on listening during labor (ie. fetal stethoscope/ doppler). The researchers found no differences between groups in Apgar scores, rates of low-oxygen brain damage, admission to the neonatal intensive care unit, and stillbirth or newborn death. They also found that people in the continuous EFM group were more likely to have a Cesarean and more likely to experience the use of vacuum or forceps when compared to those in the hands-on listening group.“
(Source: Evidence Based Birth)

So more technology does not make birth safer. In fact, there is research showing that home births are as safe as hospital births (maybe even safer).
Dr. Neel Shah, MD, MPP, FACOG says that

The greatest influence on whether a birthing person has a cesarean is which door they walk through when in labor. It’s not baby’s size, being due or overdue, or even if they have a risk factor, such as gestational diabetes. The variation in hospital cesarean rates is so great that the hospital itself becomes the risk factor for major surgery. The variable for whether a vaginal birth is possible has become the address where the labor occurs.

⁃ The third most common reason to perform a Cesarean is ‘fetal malpresentation’ (17%). As mentoned above there is not one solution for every mother-baby but most women will be able to resolve this issue with appropriate bodywork and optimal fetal positioning when started early in pregnancy.

⁃ 4% of all Cesareans are performed due to ‘suspected big baby’ (> 4kg). Many babies that seem ‘too big’ are actually simply unengaged according to midwife Gail Tully, founder of Spinning Babies®. To prevent gestating a big baby conscious dietary and lifestyle choices are crucial during pregnancy. Dr. Gowri Motha’s ‘Gentle Birth Method’ protocol for example has helped many mothers give birth in under five hours to normal sized babies. 

There is so much you can do to avoid an unnecessary Cesarean. Being educated and informed is key. Having someone work with you one-on-one is very beneficial too.

Published data indicate that one of the most effective tools to improve labor and delivery outcomes is the continuous presence of support personnel, such as a doula. A Cochrane meta-analysis of 12 trials and more than 15,000 women demonstrated that the presence of continuous one-on-one support during labor and delivery was associated with improved patient satisfaction and a statistically significant reduction (50%) in the rate of cesarean delivery.*

If you’d like to maximise your birth satisfaction and minimise interventions please get in touch. I offer free initial consultations in-person and virtually.

Preventing a primary Cesarean is important but it’s also vital for you to know that there is so much we can do to make a necessary Cesarean beautiful and family-centred. I’m here to support you fully - however labour unfolds.

* Source: American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG)/ Society for Maternal-Fetal Medicine: ’Safe Prevention of the Primary Cesarean Delivery’ (2014)

Photo: www.mamadaysart.com

There is no such thing as infant sleep, there is no such thing as breastfeeding, there is only breastsleeping.
- James McKenna, PhD

James McKenna is the director of the Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory (University of Notre Dame), Anthropologist and world-renowned expert on infant sleep.

Here is what he shares with us:
“At birth the human infant is the least neurologically mature primate of all, and the most reliant on physiological regulation by the caregiver for the longest period of time.

Until recent historic periods in the western industrialized world no human infants were ever separated from their caregivers– most human infants know only constant contact, exclusive breastfeeding and proximity, made necessary by the infants extreme neurological immaturity, lack of ambulatory abilities, and need for frequent breastfeeding both day and night. “

What exactly is infant-parent cosleeping? “A generic concept referring to the diverse ways in which a primary caregiver, usually the mother, sleeps within close proximity (arms reach) of the infant permitting each to detect and respond to a variety of sensory stimuli (sound, movement, smells, sight etc.) emitted by the other. Cosleeping is the universal (species wide) sleeping arrangement.

For the human infant contact with another body is love…in the most profound and scientific sense…nutrition, transportation, immunity, body warmth, calorie absorption, hormonal levels, heart rate, sleep architecture, neuronal proliferation.”

There is no such thing as a baby, there is a baby and someone. - D.Winnicott

The benefits of cosleeping

• Baby remains at a more stable body temperature and breathes more regularly

• Baby uses energy more efficiently, grows faster, and experiences less stress

• Babies who are not necessarily breastfed, as in the case of adoption, will also naturally reap the many other benefits of such close contact

• When babies are artificially put into deeper sleep through formula-feeding and the sensory isolation of a separate room, they not only are deprived of this close interaction and its attendant physical and emotional benefits, but the risk of SIDS rises. (By contrast, in cultures where co-sleeping is the norm, incidents of SIDS are far lower or even unheard of).

• Not all cosleeping arrangements are safe: Parental smoking, drinking, and drug use make parents insensitive to their babies. The presence of other children and/or heavy duvets that can smother, are also are dangerous. So are places where a baby can get trapped, like gaps between beds or in couches or recliners. (Here you can find guidelines for safe cosleeping)

• Mothers who breastfeed wake more often but have a better quality and duration of sleep
  

While there’s no one-size-fits-all strategy in regards to sleeping arrangements it’s important for parents to receive information both on safe bed-sharing, co-sleeping and separate surface sleeping so you can make an informed choice that is right for you and your family.

Photo credit: Kathy DiVincenzo

My role as a doula is to bring you two closer together during birth (if this is what you wish). This is your birth, your once-in-a-lifetime experience as a couple. So if it’s mum’s wish for her partner to be her main support person I will gently guide your partner to be the best support he can be and free him of the stress and worry he might otherwise feel. Relieved from any emotional responsibility for you he can then relax into the process of birth and be freed to have his own experience of becoming a parent.

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Does a doula replace the partner?
Having a third person involved may raise concerns that doulas will come between the parents. Doulas are, in reality, a support person for partners as well, ensuring that the partner’s physical and emotional needs are also met. Just as doulas see to the comfort, hydration, nutrition, and calm of labouring mothers, they also see to these needs for partners. When doulas and partners work together, they are a very powerful support system combining knowledge of birth, labour, breastfeeding and newborns (doula), with intimate understanding of this particular mother and her needs, desires, communication styles, and emotional responses (partner). The doula’s training and knowledge are available to partners and are shared via suggestions, examples, or referrals allowing the partner to be a greater participant in providing support and decision making.

A doula doesn’t replace anyone. She is another member of the birth team and supports everyone in their own role. A doula’s presence helps partners participate at their own comfort level, showing them how and when to use various comfort techniques, providing information, and in some cases, looking after them as well. Partners are often grateful to be able to share the “coaching” responsibility with someone more experienced and can therefore enjoy the birth experience more.

Aren’t the roles of the doula and partner so similar that only one is needed?
The doula’s role is unique because she is not going through a personal transition like the father is. She is there simply to provide support to the mother and partner. The doula’s training and experience allows her to bring a wider perspective to the birth or postpartum period, tips and tools for coping with labour, recovery, newborn needs and breastfeeding in addition to information to help the couple make decisions. A doula cannot provide the same level of emotional support and connection a partner can, just as the partner cannot bring the same objectivity a doula can. Some fathers, while they want very much to be involved and supportive of their partner during birth and the postpartum period, feel a great deal of pressure to remember everything from childbirth class. Doulas bring a fountain of knowledge with them to the birth and postpartum period and this knowledge is available to both parents.

Doulas and partners
The parent-to-be is expected among other things to become familiar with the process and language of birth, to understand medical procedures and hospital protocols and advocate for their partner in an environment and culture they are usually unfamiliar with. A doula can provide the information to help parents make appropriate decisions and facilitate communication between the labouring woman, her partner and medical care providers. 

Your partner’s comfort level
At times a partner may not understand a woman’s instinctive behaviour during childbirth and may react anxiously to what a doula knows to be the normal process of birth. The partner may witness the mother in pain and understandably become distressed. The doula can be reassuring and skilfully help the mother to cope with labour pain in her unique way. The partner may need to accompany the mother during surgery should a cesarean become necessary. Not all partners can realistically be expected to "coach" at this intense level.

Many partners are eager to be involved during labour and birth. Others, no less loving or committed to the mother’s wellbeing find it difficult to navigate in uncharted waters. With a doula, a partner can share in the birth at a level they feels most comfortable with. The doula’s skills and knowledge can help them to feel more relaxed. If the partner wants to provide physical comfort such as back massage, change of positions, and help their partner to stay focused during contractions, the doula can provide that guidance and make suggestions for what may work best. 

Your partner’s gifts are unique and irreplaceable
The partner’s presence and loving support in childbirth is comforting and reassuring. The love they share with the mother and their child, their need to nurture and protect their family are priceless gifts that only they can provide. With her partner and a doula at birth a mother can have the best of both worlds: her partner’s loving care and attention and the doula's expertise and guidance in childbirth. 

Resources: DONA.org

Nadine Richardson is a mother and has been a childbirth educator, doula and prenatal yoga teacher for over 20 years. She is the director of The Birthing Institute and creator of the She Births® program. She Births® is her own holistic and evidence based birth course for pregnant couples that was developed within her local community of Bondi Beach, Sydney.

In this episode we speak about birth as a profound teaching of compassion and love. Nadine shares how she facilitates more optimal birth and mother-child bonding experiences. Through her passionate work she helps us understand how an empowered birth and parenting experience also has profound cultural and societal impacts.

If you'd like to find out more about me tune into this lovely conversation I recently had with Annalee Atia on the Pregnancy Birth and Beyond radio show. In this episode we talk about what doula support can look like and why it is such a vital element of care in pregnancy, birth and postpartum. We discuss the moment of moving from fear to power in birth, why choosing the right care-provider is vital, the concept of matrescence, and how to create a village for support in parenthood. Press play below to listen to our chat.

Listen to "Peri and Post Natal Support for Mothers with Doula Nathalie Solis" on Spreaker.

Ever wondered what a day in the life of a doula looks like? Why do couples want to work with doulas? How are we different from midwives? Check out this interview I gave in Berlin together with my beautiful colleague Shanay Hall to find out more.

My beautiful friend Camalo Gaskin has created an incredible course for both parents and birth professionals with one of the most renowned birth pioneers in the world.

It is not only enlightening for anyone interested in childbirth but also shows the profound relevance that birth practices have for the future of humanity. Dr. Michel Odent and Liliana Lammers' wisdom and knowledge have had a profound impact on my own doula practice and they continue to greatly inspire my work.